That embarrasing moment when...

It takes quite a bit to embarrass me.  Growing up my dad took great joy in making sure we had "character".  He would do things that he thought were hilarious, like turning up the music really loud the block before dropping us off at middle school. This was in the late 90's. He was not jamming out to Hansen or Spice Girls. He was jamming out to BTO or the Beach Boys.  In retrospect, still great music, but it didn't exactly help my sister and I gain popularity points. All this to say, I am way past being embarrassed by situations that would probably embarrass other people.
This has probably hindered my urgency for weight loss at different points. I'm not embarrassed by my weight. In fact, even at my heaviest, I never have been. I am who I am.  That is until someone shared a recent "memory" of me.
I was talking about how lately I have really struggled with my eating choices. Yes. Me. This blogger who wants to be encouraging and only share sunshine and happiness, gets discouraged.  I know I'm not going to quit. I'm in this for the long haul. My mantra recently has been, "A river cuts through rock not by power, but perseverance." Yes, if I just persevere, I will get there. It may be slower than I would like, but it will happen.  Despite having a good attitude about that piece of it, I still have days in a row where I make less than optimal decisions.  I do get frustrated when I feel myself slipping into complacency. Anyway, I knew I needed a pep talk and shared with a couple people where my head was at. 
After sharing with one person, she decided to tell me her first impression of me. Brace yourself. I wish I would have! She said that when she first saw me, it was from behind. I was sitting in a plastic backed black chair.  My back fat spilled over the back of the chair, swallowing it like a whale swallowing a school of fish. Now, my back fat only barely bumps out from the same chair.
Bleck. My stomach did a flip...somewhere between that feeling when you want to vomit and a sinking weight of impending doom.
For the first time in my life I was/am embarrassed by my weight. She of course shared this with me to encourage me. It was a moment of, "look how far you have come! Keep going!"  Still, it stung.  I am most conscious of my back and back fat. If it really were possible to target fat loss, I would start there. Alas it's not. So, onward I march. Onward toward my goal.
P.S. I'm doing great again, feeling motivated, and on my way to success!